River Created, or River Self-made?

Making our way through the botanical gardens and a delish chocolate tort with fresh cream and berries, I found myself on a bridge over a river.  The park/garden was made in a European style of symmetrical patterns and shapes, mirrored reflections with an occasional lop-sided island off a wonky lake or two.  The river was man-made as obviously was the park, and the greenish waves rippled in the calm spring breeze.  The waters ran through the concocted streams, flowing as they were told to flow, but from those same streams, they ran through to where they guided themselves, to where they were to go, because the waters can't be guided by people, as much as they wish they could.

How are we each individually shaped by all the screwiness in life, in the environment, and consequently in ourselves?  How much do we bend to the will of something that is not good, something that turns us in the wrong ways, that hurts us rather than harms us?  What choices can we make to ensure we are improving ourselves and not succumbing to something that is not water-like, to a new way of being in which we are empowered by working with people rather than against?

In the evening, we attended a wine tasting, all the glasses were empty.  Each one shimmered delightfully as we slowly worked through tainting each clear glass with drops of golden and crimson liquid. I listened to the gentile talk floating freely about as folks chatted about politics and the absurdity of the obvious choices, and wondered how obvious they were if so many people were swayable. There's obvious work to be done in changing ourselves to understand why people would be so adamantly opposed to what one calls reason if that itself is not able to sway them.

Fast forward to another night and day later when I had consumed two more steaks, 1.5 bottles of wine, and strutted around Buenos Aires looking for the scene.  On reflection of what National Coming Out Day means for myself, I think there is still so much to come out about.  Coming out means dealing with who one is, trying to be better, and not letting our dark histories and skeletons in the closets become a hindrance.  And that requires transformations so deep inside us and others, it's a scary process.  But it's what we owe ourselves to truly shine in our skins as we exist here.  We owe it to our ancestors, to our people, to the earth and skies that nurture us daily.  As I struggle to accept and love the inner beauty that everyone has to offer, including myself, I hope this week has provided a platform for more than the transformation of LGBTQ folks into "creatures" of the day, but that all of us can come to terms with what we might think is the ugliness in our past, and forgive and learn and grow together. 

Is it a river created or self-made?  It's the waters inside that flow through us and outwards that cannot be held by the bounds of what is created to enclose us that contain the true substance.  It's self-made by our daily choices, bounded by the rules created, and yet free to traverse the distances between, me, you, and beyond, it's whether we can bring it to that higher level of realizing our power.  Love to y'all always.